if you like me you must not know who I am
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
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dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
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So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma