did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.