Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!