if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize