A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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