You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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