Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
