hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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