And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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