ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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