do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
