i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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