she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
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I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
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I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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