My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
