The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Farmville is her only friend.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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