But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
