My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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