He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
