my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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