just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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