Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
