The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize