Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
