Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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