she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
as a side note pls kill me
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