So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
