hell yes lets make some ravioli
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
