that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
