I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Every concussion has its silver lining
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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