she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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