I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
