i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
