I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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