I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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