physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Randomize
