the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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