i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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