some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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