There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
