Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
No...this little piggys going to the bar
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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