so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
These tits shall not be calmed
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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