The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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