Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
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He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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