My friends, they love my intelligence
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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