I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize