I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
