too bad you live with your parents still
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
it was like eating out sand paper
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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