I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
