Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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