I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize