All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
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I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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