This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.