You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
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you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
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And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.