I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked