Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
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I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
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She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?