I could make wine with my vomit
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked