Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
