is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
