I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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