if you like me you must not know who I am
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
