this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
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Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
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I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
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